 | Dirty Talk: Hollow Ween
Monday October 31st 2005, 11:36 pm |
Hollow Ween
1. Come home from Halloween festivities.
2. Gorge yourself on candy.
3. Hump the mouth hole of a Paris Hilton mask.
Object
4 unpossible feats
| DOs and DON’Ts: Halloween ’05
Sunday October 30th 2005, 5:56 pm |
DO
If you want to turn Halloween into a holiday about kids splooging themselves, this is the way to go. Even little girls who have no idea who the fuck Lynda Carter is will need to wipe up when they see this. Then, when they see Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman, they’ll think back to the Halloween where they had their innocence ripped away from them by multiple raging orgasms and go, “Ohhhhhh…”
DON’T
If I see this shit this Halloween, balls will be sliced. Maybe I’ll be merciful and just herd these people together with all the other folks who can’t get off the nuts of Donnie Darko, Boondock Saints, Garden State, and Zoolander, and summon God (Yeah, I know him) to do an intervention. Maybe I can get Old Testament God…
 | In stores November 3rd…
Thursday October 27th 2005, 8:58 pm |
This convo involved the ridiculous use of Napoleon Dynomite references and the such, by none other than dumb college broads…
pjgallaga: thank god you don’t go to college
Impossibles001: haha
pjgallaga: it’s like all college girls talk about
pjgallaga: that and black eyes peas
Impossibles001 : man i would just start choppin heads
pjgallaga: apparently
pjgallaga: eyed*
Impossibles001: black eyes peas… the new bobby brown making the band name
pjgallaga: LOL
Impossibles001: haha
pjgallaga: it’s like “black eyes, please…”
Impossibles001: haha
pjgallaga: that’s whitney
Impossibles001: and the cover of the album has them doing coke off a naked kindergarten’s ass
pjgallaga: who they’ve named “coke”
Impossibles001: haha
Impossibles001: it will be gold in no time
Impossibles001: And the grammy goes to…. “Black eyes, please…” for there hit album… “Maybe she shouldnt have talked back! “…
pjgallaga: LOL
and if anyone is interested in seeing an authentic, Bobby disapproval slap… might i direct towards the whitney link at the top of the page… man that bitch deserved that shit…
-and today was a day just like any other
 | Scopes: October 27th- November 3rd
Thursday October 27th 2005, 2:39 am |
Here are your horoscopes from October 27th till November 3rd. Oh and check Last weeks scopes to check on how perfect I am at this.
Aries 3/21-4/19 *Whispers* Hey don’t tell the rest of the signs, but just overall you guys are better. You guys are better looking, smarter, nicer and make more money. But usually you guys kinda smell. Not necessary bad, but you have this weird smell. Kinda like birds.
Taurus 4/20-5/20 Do not attempt to parallel park this week. For your left arm’s sake, just resist the temptation.
Gemini 5/21-6/21 Things are looking up this week!!!!!! Wait no they aren’t. Fuck this week. Sorry even you M-dogg. No never mind, except M-dogg.
Cancer 6/22-7/22 This week will be a tough week for you. But you don’t need to worry, sometime this week you will win the lottery. But be careful the lottery commission is going to say that your ticket is fake. So get a receipt.
Leo 7/23-8/22 Watch the Lion King religiously this week. Or I am sad to say this, but the stars make me, your father will die. He will be stampeded by a bunch of wildebeests (yeah that is spelt right, bitch). But your mom is fine. But I would have the movie Psycho by side just in case.
Virgo 8/23-9/22 Love letters, romantic phone messages and cryptic notes on the Blackberry that only you can understand are all en route. Better grab a power-nap while you can, because it certainly looks like a late one. *Taken from Yahoo horoscopes. Here is the link They had it under Aries, fucking idiots.
Libra 9/23-10/22 No matter how many different times I do this, you will have the same horoscope as me. So let’s make it good. This week might quote possibly be the best week of your fucking life. You will make some hot love with the woman/man of your dreams, and she/he wont complain like the other women/men do. Every sports team that you love will win everytime. Unless you like the Astros, they suck. This week just rock with your cock out. I love that expression.
Scorpio 10/23-11/21 Last week I just skipped you guys, and someone actually got upset because her birthday is coming up. And this week will be no different.
Sagittarius 11/22-12/21 Your bank is going to make a mistake and your checking account is going to go from an ugly 6.23 to a sexy 6623 dollars. But your dumbass will complain about your 23 cents. Fuck you are dumb.
Capricorn 12/22-1/19 Lately your sex life has been, well let’s be honest, lagging. The sex hasn’t been happening lately and when it does it sucks (well in a manner of speaking). Well your horoscope is here to help you. The stars say that you should try to spice up the love life. I will even tell you about my FW special. Get 3 buckets of “I cant believe it’s not butter”, a left handed 9 iron, a speed limit sign that reads 29, mouthwash, and a fake vagina. And well go to town my friend, go to town.
Aquarius 1/20-2/18 I have only one word to say to you this week. Tanks.
Pisces 2/19-3/20 I always feel bad for you guys, because you are the last ones. And the stars are kinda tired by the time I get to you. So this week I am going to try to make this the best horoscope out of all of them. Dude did you hear Sheryl Swoopes is a lesbian. Crazy huh?
Unpossible= The next MSN
I cant believe its not butter= Make that 4 buckets, just in case.
| Bios updated
Thursday October 27th 2005, 1:57 am Filed under: FellowWalken,Funny |
I updated the bios a little bit today. So check them out. I didn’t do too much just added some people. If you need to be added just leave a comment. Well this isn’t a funny update at all. Umm think of Yoda going on a date with Golum. Not fucking or anything. Just Yoda with a dozen roses ringing Golum’s doorbell. And go!
| My Idol
Wednesday October 26th 2005, 9:37 pm |
The camera work is phenomenal. And this kid…words – they escape me.
Shout out to Tony AKA Conrad on this find. It’s a gem.
| FW tired
Wednesday October 26th 2005, 7:10 pm Filed under: FellowWalken |
FW going to bed at like 9 30 tonight. So I will give you the horoscopes tomorrow morning sometime, I promise. I love you all, me so sleepy.
| FW’s Random Thoughts
Wednesday October 26th 2005, 4:43 am |
Time for some random thoughts.
Am I the only one that is bothered by the fact that random thoughts has a specific day assigned to it?
If you have been dating a guy and then you go to have sex with him. But he doesn’t have a penis, he might not be a guy.
One of my friends made fun of me because I own an Ipod mini. He stated that this linked easily to me having a mini penis. Well when you are right, you are right.
Dude what?
Ignore that thought, I have a huge penis. Like I have to feed it, it is so big. It is so big that it can ride almost all the rides at Disney World. Except the water log. It can ride it once, but once it gets wet. . . well you know.
I spent 20 minutes yesterday trying to see myself with my eyes closed in the mirror. You should try it, you can get really close but never quite there.
Girls don’t shit. I just refuse to believe it happens.
Unpossible= The next MSN
Huge penis= The octagon
| Hating
Tuesday October 25th 2005, 11:01 pm |
Pendejo Joe says: i hate you
Pendejo Joe says: with the fire of a burning city
Pendejo Joe says: in the desert
Pendejo Joe says: at noon
Pendejo Joe says: your existence is the bane of all things cosmic
Pendejo Joe says: and god hopes you die
Pendejo Joe says: soon
Pendejo Joe says: my hatred for you is equated with the world’s hatred of Hanson
Pendejo Joe says: if my hatred for you could be quantified, the symbol for infinity would be insubstantial and would thus mean that my hatred for you would cause a flaw in mathematical theory as we currently know it
Pendejo Joe says: if my hatred towards you were to be made into a means of sustenance, it would be a loathe of bread that would feed all the starving children in the world
Pendejo Joe says: when the world ends, my hatred for you will live on as one of the basic nebulaic elements of the universe, and entire worlds will form using it as one of the basic building blocks of life, and cursed civilizations will spring forth on these worlds and they will question why they exist in such an absurd quandry, and it’ll be all because of my hatred towards you.
Pendejo Joe says: the greatest loves of the world from this point on will be measured by their stark constrasts to the hatred for you that i house in my soul.
Pendejo Joe says: once i knew a guy who i swore to be my arch enemy, and I vowed that if it were possible i would go back in time to when his mother was pregnant with him and i would empty a magnum into her belly and prevent him from ever tainting my experience with his existence. i hate you more than that guy.
Pendejo Joe says: you may have heard of a pretty hate machine. i have decided to dedicate my life to creating an ugly hate machine for you.
Pendejo Joe says: if i hated you any more, it would render the word meaningless and i would have to invent a new word to describe my abhorrence. i might call it hagust; a combination of hate and disgust. you’re lucky i don’t hagust you yet.
| Dirty Talk: The Eiffel Tower
Tuesday October 25th 2005, 12:16 pm |
The Eiffel Tower
1. Get really drunk on wine.
2. Have the guy lie down on his back and the girl stand over him straddling his crotch with both arms straight up in the air
3. The guy will now attempt to reach the “tower’s” vagina from his position through upward thrusts.
(It’s very hit or miss, this one is.)