~t@p~
 | Schlafen
Tuesday March 06th 2007, 3:29 pm
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Waking from a brief coma in the Engineering building I was confused and completely disoriented. See I had intended on taking my nap in the BioScience and Engineering building (BSE) or as the cool kids refer to it: The Mad Cow Building. There are very comfortable chairs there but alas it seems other people know about these virtual recliners complete with a swiveling desk component. (Short Scrubs-like dream sequence of entire lecture halls filled with nothing but these upholstered bliss-makers and the pure inefficiency that would inevitably ensue) Sometimes I truly believe that the world would be a much better place without all those other confounded people, this may stem from my seemingly frequent choice of service oriented professions.
During my quest for comfort (which could be entitled: A Boy without a Seat) I somehow managed to wander into the Engineering building (somehow would involved a door the outside and another door) which is a nice enough place (save for the fact all outsiders summarily receive looks of scorn, I’m still puzzled how the Engineering Majors can smell my nonengineeringness) and found an exponentially less comfortable clime.
Upon awaking I found that every single part of my body had fallen into a deep slumber. Consciousness alone failed to rouse my incapacitated body I was forced to heave myself sideways in the chair. None of the busily working students paid me any notice, this continued until finally enough of me was able to move that I propelled myself out of the chair and down the hall in an attempt to find coffee.
This is about when I discovered that I was inside the Engineering building. This conclusion was reached when the door was no where near where it should have been. UTSA is not a particularly confusing campus, yet for the first time in 5 years I actually felt lost (this feeling was compounded by most of my torso still being parayalized).
“When it occured to me that the animals are swimming around in the water in the oceans in our bodies and another had been found another ocean on the planet given that our blood is just like the Atlantic” ~Modest Mouse
I write that mostly to get it off my desk, which happens to be littered with dozens of other needless objects. School can get to be very swamping at times (this semester seems to be especial) especially when Spring Break lurks around the corner. Apparently a Biology degree entails a certain amount of work, work I could perform.
Ahh the ides will soon be upon us.
Then another hot lazy summer stretches out towards brief winter.
Well. Thems new years done come and went. Mardi gras ends. Lent begins. Oh shit. Neighbors keep painting their Dirt Free truck.
I’ve spoken before about resurrections. How I think they are oft nothing more than empty promises. How silly the old Phoenix really might be.
Perhaps it’s the only way to survive in this world.
Seriously died a long time ago now. Unp0ssible was supposed to fill the void it left, it hasn’t even touched close yet. Being creative isn’t supposed to be a chore its intended to be a release (think sex).
Promises to write more often. Promises of funny to come. Promises to do more.
Empty or fulfillable?
It’s like stretching a condom on a baseball bat. There should be enough latex to cover the pine phallus, but who’s to say. Factory testing can only account for so many variables.
Other circumstances may occur, but nothing can ever account for all the outliers.
For example the sicko putting prophylactics on America’s Favorite Past Time.
4th of July rained out.
Well, hopefully, t@p will join us because I’m serious about doing this. Awesome that the first sentence of Seriously Revival has the word “serious” in it. And, now, the second sentence has…nevermind.
So, we lost our site. When the whole Diary-x situation began, it was very surreal for me because I always feared something like that happening. For some reason, even though I’m affiliated with a few different sites, I always had that fear particularly about Seriously. I’m really not sure why. For this reason, t@p and I did a very half-assed physical back-up by printing out our entries. I think the only reason we actually did that much was because I needed it for a project for my creative writing class. So…we haven’t exactly lost everything like most Diary-x’ers did. We have from the beginning until about 2004, I think. Still, it really leaves a hole in my heart (and I’m sure t@p would agree) that wasn’t entirely perceptible when this first happened.
I think when it first became official that Diary-x was dead, t@p and I tried not to let it hit us hard. We sorta rationalized that we really hadn’t been posting much during those two years that we lost. The thing is…every single one of those posts meant something.
I’ll find myself remembering something that’s happened in the last two years, and then remembering how I had written about it, and said some pretty funny things about the memory. Then, I’ll remember I’ve lost it. It’s a terrible feeling, let me tell ya.
Anyway, it’s happened, and there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s time to move on, and get back to writing, and, hopefully, we might entertain some of you in the process.
Seriously is back.
-Pendejo “Love” Joe(ns)
Seriously.
I can’t describe what exactly it meant. I’ve never had the self-discipline to keep a journal more than intermittently before in my life.
Seriously.
Provided a place for me to look back upon previous deeds and remember more than just the moments I tried to explode. I remember the rest of that day.
Seriously.
I had slacked off to doing nothing. I don’t know when exactly I got complacent. But I did.
Seriously.
Might just be the Phoenix I’ve been needing.
~t@p~
The entirety of the Universe cannot be explained within the confines of Physics. Chance and possibility seemly are the rules which govern everything. The Law of Conservation of Energy is violated every second somewhere, it just happens to be violated very quickly.
Doesn’t this sound like a Good Friday topic. The Creationists are waiting in the wings ready to pounce on the Big Bang and explain it in less than 9,000 years. Meanwhile science turns a blind eye to humanity ready to isolate themselves for another Dark Age.
The Nation is looking to the South for a reason. Mexico is fixing to tear itself apart. Father is planning for Iran.
The Abortionists are returning to the back alleyway. The War on Drugs keeps keeping on. The Poor keep trying to come up.
Meanwhile.
Bob Dylan comes to town.
| Kesey
Friday June 03rd 2005, 10:32 am
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Especially if you’re one of those that’s been doing the signifying.
So the discovery that I was have déjà vus did not being me any ease. It only clarified the fearful murk that had been nagging me into something far more haunting: guilt. And when I closed my eyes to shut out the little face looking up from the book on my lap, I found my head crammed full of other faces waiting their turn. What was my mother going to say? Why hadn’t I phoned? Why wouldn’t I lend poor Joe a little support a while ago after all of it he’s afforded me the last two days? Why can’t I face those faces upstairs? I know now that it isn’t my fear that chains me back. It’s the bleak bottomless rock of failure, jutting remote from the black waters. Onto this hard rock I am chained. The water pounds like blame itself. The air is thick with broken promises coming home to roost, flapping and clacking their beaks and circling down to give me the same as Prometheus got…worse! Because I sailed up to those fordden heights more times than he had – as many times as I could manage the means – but instead of a flagon of fire the only thing I brought back was an empty cocktail glass… and I broke that.
I’m looking at the guy in the bathroom wearing a Star Trek T-shirt thinking, wait this is Star Wars. I know this might be his subtle way of showing his Sci-Fi affiliation, but seriously, no. I mean for christsakes I just saw someone in a complete Darth Vader outfit fighting some kid in the hall with toy Lightsabers.
Then I remember breath deep, you’re not really a Star Wars fan. You just know the culture.
Take it easy.
Then later Da German asks, “Isn’t this supposed to be Luke Skywalker.”
“No!” I spoke too loud and drew an angry hiss “This is going to be Darth Vader!”
Calm down, that little outburst just there doesn’t prove a thing. You only have a mild amusement by the now Star Wars Sexiloigy.
Lighten up a little bit.
But instead my mind begins to wander, now I’m flying the A-wing fighter. I’m landing it.
Dear lord I just said A-wing. I know the imagery names for imagery spacecraft.
Fine Lucas, you bastard you took my $6 bucks, and stole my very soul. I love you.
Absurd Plays I Sing.
With that out of the way.
School is finished. Another day to decompress and I should be fine. Good to see all these new faces here.
